I am Mam to our 5-year-old little boy, awaiting assessment with behaviours and traits which seem to fit the ADHD profile…which may begin to explain why most ‘standard’ parenting techniques, in all honesty, just don’t work.

My son is funny, quirky and the most determined little person I have ever met! He is strong, independent and very clever. Then there are also the more tricky behaviours that go hand in hand with his daily struggle to manage those big emotions.

Is it me? What am I doing wrong? What will people think of me when he does that?….these are all questions I asked myself in his early years as we tried so many different ways to manage behaviours that kept happening time, and time again.

Then our little boy started school. Caught up in the excitement, thinking, he’s ready for this, he must be bored at home. He went off confidently in his new uniform and little blonde curls, and then sure enough…the calls started. Although slightly reassuring that maybe it ‘wasn’t us’, the anxiety and worry anticipating the next call to hear about an incident was very real. Behaviours at home worsened, and it reached a point where I didn’t know what to try next. Support was in place for the school as they were also at a loss, but this didn’t include support for us at home.

It was at this point I called the Behaviour Support Hub, desperate to talk to someone who ‘would get it’, and have experience managing the behaviours we were facing daily. It was scary picking up the phone to call, but it was 100% worth it.

Enfys was fantastic, the voice of calm in what felt like an overwhelming feeling of not knowing what to try next. Reassurance that we were doing a good job and offering ideas to try at home in those ‘tricky’ times (which is what my son and I call them). Quite quickly, I was given back the confidence that I know my son best, and I would carry on being his biggest and loudest cheerleader to get the support he/we needed.

I am far from an expert, and we are learning every day, but my advice would be….please don’t feel you are on your own dealing with those tricky times, the Behaviour Support Hub has so much knowledge, and most importantly, a listening and understanding ear to talk about the reality of parenting a child who experiences the world differently.

Then the Christmas break….here it comes again!

My Facebook is flooded with ‘fun-filled’ local activities for children, which is amazing, and I’m sure they are fun for many. However, the Summer break is still fresh in my memory and I remember leaving soft play, leaving early from our holidays, and chasing my son as he ran away yet again – so I left my online booking.

Would my little boy enjoy a busy, small and loud breakfast with Santa at the moment? Unlikely, he would probably like the idea of it, but in reality, he would struggle to cope, and it would end in tears (not the same for everyone, I know).

My biggest learning curve has been to limit the ‘big’ days out and choose one or two low-key, manageable ones. Book things that are low cost or can be cancelled, so it limits disappointment all around. Plan a small party of some sort instead with close friends or family who understand the circumstances and need for a 5-10 minute sensory break or don’t look twice when my son might randomly swear and shout, or can’t ‘sit still’ for food. I have his earplugs, Lego and a toy of choice as we continue making more memories together.

We might not always be doing the things I had imagined around Christmastime, but my son always seems to remember the fun and most random bits of everything we do, so we will carry on as we are 😊