As it is fast approaching, I can feel my anxiety rising with the pressure of the expectations that are placed on us as parents, that we need to have a clean spotless show home.

Along with all the chores to take care of. This is without taking care of our children and animals… While holding down a job.

Easy right!!!!

Well, we all should fly through this, that is what we are meant to do, isn’t it?

Let us not forget, our children with neurodiverse differences mean we have added pressure on top of day-to-day struggles. All neurodiverse parent carers out there, I hear you, I feel you. I know what is going through your head right now and that’s OK, yes, it’s going to be a nightmare. If we feel this way, imagine what our children feel!

The routine of school is completely removed; a place where they spent six hours a day in a completely different environment, a place where they had lunch. Remember, for most of our children, they do not like change.

So, let’s forget the pressure and expectations that are placed on us as a society. It’s OK for us, as parents, to take a step back, slow down and not need to live up to what is expected of us. Let’s do what is right for our family and their needs.

Let’s forget about the fun-filled, mad days out for the whole of the six weeks’ holidays. Yes, they sound amazing, and as parent carers, we mean well, but this is a neurodiverse children’s worst nightmare.

Let’s arrange something having our children’s input, offer them choices of a game in the house or going out, as this will allow you to gauge how your child is feeling that day. Follow the child’s lead. If you can, go at their pace. Remember, it’s already a tricky time for them with us implementing a whole new routine. This is going to be difficult for our child to adapt to at first, without us adding pressure to activities and events. Think of sensory overload and dysregulation for our children, it’s a difficult time, so we want it to be as achievable as possible.

My message here would be, don’t put so much pressure on yourself to live up to what others are doing around you. I know I used to! A lot!  

I’m only now realising that this was many of my daughters’ triggers. Keep the events short and cheap, so if you must leave, you can with no added pressure of wasted money.

Get them involved in the planning. My daughter has a PDA profile, she loves/needs to be in control. So, for her, being involved with the planning really helped her to be more engaged and inclined to go to the event/activity that we arranged. Make sure you have a ‘Plan B’ so that you don’t get worked up. Know exactly how to support your child while they get overwhelmed or become dysregulated, whether that’s sourcing a quiet space, or knowing where you could go in advance before reaching that stage. This helped me so much, relieving the pressure off myself. It allowed me to support my child and both of us achieved more during our summer holidays.

Remembering to reduce our anxiety and the pressure on ourselves allows us, as parents, to be more flexible in making it work for our children. To be able to achieve happy, fun memories.